Synopsis / Excerpt
Notes on the performing of the Play

Home of the Great Pecan is a farce set in the real town of Seguin, Texas in the mid 80s. It can be played with as few as 4 actors, and as many as 18. The final scene has two versions which are slightly different: the 4 actor version and the 18 actor version. (You could also do some doubling up in the 18 actor version to use fewer performers and some gender swapping with the actors in some cases.)

If I were going to give the play a rating, I'd rate it PG-13. There are a few curse words and a small amount of suggestive sexual content (which may be edited depending upon your audience), but it's certainly not any worse than what can be seen on prime time television.

Click here to read the first scene.


Tammie Lynn Schneider is desperate to get married again. For years, she's been working on her boyfriend, Greeley Green, and he has finally promised to get her the $2000 engagement ring of her choice. Problem is, Greeley's had a bit of a wondering eye, letting certain women around town drive his beloved truck, thus breaking his own truck creed ("Nobody but the Greeley drives the truck"), and he now must spent a huge chunk of the ring money to work out a bad dent inflicted on his sacred mobile shrine by one of the women.

Meanwhile, the beloved Great Pecan, a huge quarter ton statue which is the symbol of the town's greatest resource as well as the focus of the yearly Pecan Festival (culminating in the crowning of the Pecan Queen), has been stolen. This is an epic disaster for the town where the Pecan Festival is a 102 year old tradition. Sheriff Bart and his over-eager Deputy Diggity are on the case, and the no-nonsense Sheriff won't entertain any of the rumors going around that the pecan was abducted by aliens.

Meanwhile, Tammie's best friend, Rosy Fay Stadtmueller, is having an illicit affair with the local preacher, the charismatic Reverend Pat, and while doing his books, she stumbles upon a bank account in the Caymen Islands with a million dollars.

Tammie, in an attempt to make Greeley jealous, entertains the idea of seducing his best friend, Ed, a man of few words, but as she arrives unannounced at Ed's country house, she is treated to the site of Ed dancing around what appears to be the Great Pecan in some sort of"weird naked alien ritual deal."

Is Ed an alien? Has he really filched the 500-pound pecan? Will the festival be saved? Will love and marriage prevail for Tammie? All will be answered.

The entire play can be found and/or licensed at Broadway Play Publishing Inc.


Home of the Great Pecan started as a stand-alone one-act called Brain Sucking (the first scene of the play) and was produced at Actor's Theatre of Louisville and subsequently published in Dramatics Magazine, a publication for theatre educators. It was expanded into a full-length for 4 actors and was developed in a small workshop with director, Shelley Delaney and producer, Colleen Cosgrove. (Many thanks to these 2 for their input and hard work in the development of the full-length play.)

It was given a full workshop production by The Drilling CompaNY under the direction of Producing Artistic Director, Hamilton Clancy. In this production in January of 2011 at The Drilling CompaNY Theatre on West 78th Street in Manhattan, the play was performed by talented cast of 16, and an alternate version of the final scene was formed to accommodate more actors. Therefore the play may be performed with 4 actors or as many as 18 (or less with doubling).